Unless your name is Pocahontas or Squanto, TP is not a place where you sleep at night. It is an all to familiar drain on your bank account. We cant live without it. I tried last week with negative results.
In my opinion it is one of the most poorly designed products on the market. We see advertisements with fluffy cartoon bears playing and rolling around feathery streams of toilet paper. They seem to say "its so soft I cant even tell I'm wiping". They advertise that the rolls are 30 percent longer with squares to spare. They make us feel so good about taking a crap. Thats all fine and great, but they fail to address, in my opinion, the most important element of bathroom tissue. The strength. How can they overlook such and important part of the product.
Bounty, Ford Trucks, Secret brand deodorant, all of these products advertise strength, and since I cant wipe with an F-250(thats a nice mental image), I would love the TP brands to address this subject. We all experience the occasional "rip-through" and it tends to ruin the day. "Yeah, well I won the lottery, Shakira called and asked me out to the Grammys, but I had a rip-through around 7:30 so I've been in a bad mood ever since."
Why not have a strength rating right on the package. 1 could be, "Recommend for those with stubby fingers who cant lift above 15 pounds, and a 10 could be "Chuck Norris tried to rip-through this and broke his wrist". So listen up Angel Soft, Charmin, and Sit and Smile(yes that is a real brand of toilet paper), we've had enough and we aren't going to take it (in the hole) anymore.-Kendall Green
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5 comments:
Genius Kendall.... I love the soft stuff. It feels so good on my bum. -the other Kendall
Um your non-kendall named cousin thinks you guys are kinda retarded. But I love it.
I had to go through a long random chain of blogs to find this. Totally worth it. Why have we never heard about this gay blog before? I'm totally a regular from now on.
Kendalls...I was driving down the street yesterday in Palm Springs and saw a big billboard with your blog address on it. It is the hottest site among the gay population of our community. Congrats.
Oh my...with all that's going on in the world you choose to write about TP? Didn't you just turn 25? Just glad we heard your great talk in church yesterday or I'd be totally concerned...I detect a creative writing gene that I've never seen. Either that or Breanne has got it right.
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